passion

I am approaching one of the biggest opportunities of my life tomorrow, and the day after. My stomach is in knots..
I feel like i've been chasing this dream of doing what I truly love and getting nowhere. Although, I look ungrateful when I say that because what I feel and what I know are 2 different things.
I have got somewhere, just not as far as I want to.
My standards for myself when it comes to music are so high I can almost never reach them without letting myself down.
Its a constant game of tug-o-war.
American Idol..my thoughts on the show have always been the same..
I didnt know if I wanted to go out that way...or be so public with purusing my dream..with millions of people watching..watching my own downfall is hard enough,
but to get "voted" off and having THAT many people see it? thats hard.
but, it's worth it..its something I have to live with if this is what i'm going to pursue.
Being in the public eye is what music is about a lot of the time...
I have to make sure I continue doing this for me no matter how far I get,
and keep the most positive attitude about it no matter how frustrated or confused I
may get during it.I hope I make it through..
I've never wanted anything so bad.



Here I Come! American Idol